And another semester is over. I get a little sad. But also, over the years, I’ve started to become amused by the pattern of general disinterest that students have in whatever they are “required” to take.
So this post is a (non-exhaustive) collection of some of the ridiculous things students have said and done. Overwhelmingly, the theme is grade-centered. Some of the quotes are not exact and some have been edited to keep out identifying details.
As of May 7th, 2015
A female student, frustrated with the finance unit, blurts out in the middle of class
Finance really should be a man’s job.
I immediately contradicted this with an emphatic “NO! Gender has nothing to do with comprehending this material!”. I really wish I had taken a moment to see what the other students’ reactions were, but I was too irritated.
Next!
I require that my students type up their projects. My argument is that this is 2015 and we should be comfortable using the computer to write a proper report. I don’t allow photos of hand-written work pasted into a word processor. So even if the students have to include figures and graphs, I require that they do this all on the computer. One student exclaimed,
I’ve never had to use a computer in my life! I work with little kids. I’ll never need a computer!
My response was
You don’t use a computer because you don’t know how to use one. You are also imposing your limits in knowledge on to the kids you work with. You’re doing them a disservice by keeping yourself 30 years behind the times.
Ah grades …
Hey, Cs get degrees!
My response
If you are just treating your education as a paper pushing process, then you’ll get nowhere in life.
And for the coup de grâce
Thank you for the great class! I was relieved that you didn’t have an accent!
$#@#!!!!$##@ … Manan angry!
As of December 23, 2014
Let’s start it off with the title and followed by how I
Dear Professor,
As you know, I need a C in this course to graduate. This is my last semester and I’ve already walked. So if there is any extra credit that you can give to make sure I get my C, please let me know.
I wanted to respond with this, but instead I just said it to myself:
Dear Student,
As you know, I don’t care about what you need / feel entitled to. There has never been extra credit, and there won’t be. Let’s hope you held up your end of the bargain and put forth a genuine effort to learn and prepare.
Next!
Dear Professor,
I don’t understand why I am doing so poorly in this class. I’ve always been good at math. I got an A in honors Calculus in high school.
So why are you taking Intermediate Algebra in college? And why are you not destroying this course?
I actually feel bad for this student. If I believe their story that they did in fact take honors Calculus in high school and aced it, then either they were taught a lightweight version of the subject, which somehow neglected many of the topics in Algebra (and Precalculus), or they just knew how to memorize their way through tests.
Onwards we go.
I am a Computer Science major. I don’t actually need Algebra, it’s just a requirement for my major. So can you tell me what I need on this fourth exam so that I can pass this course?
This is just too far stupid for me to say anything … on the other hand, I have had several CS majors who understand how vital a strong math background is.
Some students just don’t have their life organized.
Hi,
I have to leave class early today to meet with my tutor for this class.
$#&!@
Some don’t even give me a chance. But instead send emails like these (two variations on a theme):
Hi, so I know the exam is next week and I know you said we should email you if we have questions. But I don’t think you’ll be able to answer my question over email. Can we meet a half hour before the exam to answer my questions?
I didn’t email you questions because I didn’t think you’d be able to answer them over email. Instead I just watched YouTube videos.
To #1:
Umm, perhaps you can let the burden of answering questions fall on me. I’ve been doing this long enough to be able to explain it in many ways.To #2
Kudos, for finding external resources, but anti-kudos for not even giving me a chance.
Grades!! Where are my grades!! Over Thanksgiving break, I received entirely too many of these
Hi, the last day to drop this class is on December 1st. Can you tell me what I got on the last exam, so I know if I should drop this course?
I wrote back to the class with this:
Hi! 🙂
I will get you grades as soon as I can. This is holiday / family season and believe it or not I have a family! Class doesn’t meet until next Thursday, so just like you all, I too prioritize my time. I know that December 1st is some deadline. I’ll try and get grades to you by then if you have sent me an email request …
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Regards,
Manan
One student came to class and asked
Is there a quiz or an exam today?
To which the answer was, “no”. Promptly, the student walked out of class. Two weeks later, after failing the first test, he dropped the class.
As a Marine Biology major, I don’t need any more math than Statistics.
I gave the following response:
It’s not that you don’t need any more math than Statistics, it’s that at minimum you need Statistics. The more math you know, the better the marine biologist you will be. In fact, the more you continue to broaden your knowledge base, the better the marine biologist you will be (and perhaps even a better person, independent of profession).
I think he was mildly convinced. I just don’t know how long that interchange will remain with him. If I had a year with some students, I could drum into them why continuing to learn is a good thing. The amazing irony is that after 12+ years of school — i.e being in an education environment — an upsettlingly large many see little value in continuing to learn.